you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
