We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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