Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm passing your future prison.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
