Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
