Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
smell my finger.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
