i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
