Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
