just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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