i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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