Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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