I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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