Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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