i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
