what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
