every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
