Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
