did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You need Xanax blowdarts
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
