remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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