Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just sucked dick on a ferry
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper