I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!