just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers