I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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