You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
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He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.