no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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