Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
