so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think my moral compass just broke
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