youre lurking in front of me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
