Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
