Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
