Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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