just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
