And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize