I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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