and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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