ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
