I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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