Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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