My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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