Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
