Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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