I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
