when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
