it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
