what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
