dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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