i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize