I seem to have left my pride at pride
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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