I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
