Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize