I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
