mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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