the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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