the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
