Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
