so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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