Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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