Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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