considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize