Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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