when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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