I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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