Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize