Non-Jews are for practice
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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