I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
