btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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