I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
